FAQ
Here we have listed several questions we get asked fairly often, along with our answers. If you have other questions you don’t see here, feel free to call or email one of us (see the contact info page), or list the question in a comment below, and hopefully we’ll get it answered for you.
What do I have to do to join SAA?
You just come to one of our meetings. If you decide that our program seems like it could be helpful to you, then you just keep on coming back. We do recommend you come to 5 or 6 meetings (preferably on at least two different days of the week as you’ll meet more of us and hear more of our stories that way) before you make up your mind. We do not have any type of membership application, registration, fees, or dues. Most 12-Step programs are very informal organizations, and ours is no exception.
What happens in the meetings? Do I need to bring anything with me?
You do not need to bring anything with you. Our meetings all last for an hour and a half. If you need to arrive late, don’t worry! Just come on in! We’ll do our best to make you feel at home, and introduce you around. We might have one or two of our guys chat with you in a room across the hall for a minute or two before you sit down, just to make sure you’re in the right place, if you have not already spoken with one of us by phone or email.
Generally, meetings begin with a series of readings and then we might recite the Serenity Prayer (“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”) as a group. We then may spend a few minutes allowing the meeting leader and other members to mention announcements and to discuss any current business issues or logistical questions.
Following this will be Check-in, which is really the heart of our meetings. (See below for an explanation of “Check-in”.) After Check-in we usually have some time for sharing of feedback. Finally, at the end of the meeting we might offer “chips” or tokens to anyone who has been abstinent for a given period of time from his/her addictive behaviors, or to anyone who simply needs a tangible token to help them stay sober for the next 24 hours. We then might have another reading or two, might join in reciting the Serenity Prayer once again, and then disband.
At some point during the meeting, we will likely pass a little basket around, and we ask folks to each, if they can, contribute a dollar (or whatever you want and are able to). This money goes toward purchasing books and pamphlets for our library, buying coffee and other supplies, donations to the church whose generosity has made our meeting location possible, and contributions to the International SAA organization.
Some of our meetings might try to end after an hour or so, and then allow some time for us to individually work on step-work on paper, or to read or meditate quietly.
If you need to leave early, feel free to do so. Almost all of us have had to do this at times, and it’s no big deal. It might help if you let this be known, though, when it’s your turn to check in.
What do I do when I want to speak?
Our custom is when we wish to “have the floor”, or when it’s our turn to check in, we say, “My name is ____ (give your first name only), and I’m a sex addict.” Or, if you’re not sure yet if you are a sex addict, you can just say, “Hi. My name is ____, and I’m here trying to figure things out and get help.” The others of us will then greet you by saying, “Hi, ____”, and then you may start speaking.
What is “Check-in”?
Check-in is the time of our meetings during which we go around the room and every person present has the opportunity to tell us what’s going on in his or her life and recovery. Typically, the designated leader for that meeting will lead off, and then we’ll take turns, moving around the circle to the left.
For those of us who have been to meetings before, we’ll typically start by stating when we were last at a meeting. We then will use that opportunity to report to the group if we’ve had any acting-out episodes since our last meeting or not, and we might briefly list in general terms what our addictive, or “inner circle”, behaviors are. Some of us might mention when our “Sobriety date” is (that is, the day we last acted out addictively). From there, we may take a minute or two to talk about any significant things going on in our lives that is impacting on our recovery, or we might share a note of gratitude to the group or to our Higher Power.
For newcomers there for the first time, we encourage them to take a couple of minutes and tell us a little about why you are looking for help. It’s good to keep this introduction in general terms, and not overly graphic. Most people have tried to stop their compulsive behaviors many times and in various ways, and this might be helpful to talk about. Most of us came to SAA as the result of some kind of crisis or trouble, and this may also be important to mention. This will help to let us get to know you. During “feedback” time, you’ll likely find out that others there have been through very similar problems, and you’ll learn you are not alone!
Are there any women at the meetings?
Most of us at the Lexington meetings are men. However, women are always very welcome in our meetings, and there are a few who attend from time to time. Many women often feel more comfortable attending support or recovery groups specifically catering to females, and there are a couple of those around. We’ll be happy to direct you to those if you are interested.
Are teens allowed to attend?
Yes. SAA does not discriminate against anyone who has a desire to stop some kind of addictive or compulsive sexual behavior. We welcome anyone who meets this requirement, no matter their age, race, gender, religious beliefs, or sexual orientation.
(Disclaimer: Â Lexington SAA has no affiliation with and does not endorse Binary Moon or WordPress.com. The links below are provided as a requirement of our web host.)
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